How I Overcame Childhood Trauma Through Meditation and Positive Affirmations — The Story of Sheetal

Ever since childhood, Sheetal had been experiencing frequent outbursts of anger & frustration, which over the years led to depression, suicidal thoughts & dependence on medications. Through meditation & positive affirmations, she finally discovered peace, freedom from negative thinking, and emotional self-regulation.  

I am Sheetal Sharma from Delhi. I grew up in a middle-class family. My parents were always busy and unavailable during my childhood, but they compensated for their absence by providing me with all sorts of comfort. As a result, I experienced a childhood trauma. I was always throwing tantrums. I used to shout at everyone on feeble issues. If my parents didn't fulfill my wishes, I used to cut my hand. I became arrogant and presumptuous. If someone didn't reply to me on time, I became rude to them. I wasn't able to love anyone around me. My mind chattered more than my mouth. My state continued to worsen and, in 2017, I tried twice to commit suicide. Antidepressants, sleeping pills, and medications were my life back then.  

Many people suggested I should do meditation, but at that point, the concept of meditation sounded ridiculous to me. So, I never tried to meditate. This changed after my therapist, too, began to insist that I should give meditation a go. Initially, I didn’t take the practice of meditation seriously, but she — my therapist — made me sit in meditation for at least 10 minutes during our sessions. She also compelled me to watch meditation videos on YouTube. I straightforwardly refused to do it, because I had already watched plenty of self-help videos to no avail. Eventually, she asked my dad to convince me to watch a particular video.  

Eventually, I watched my first video of Sadhguru. My first reaction was not very positive; I thought to myself, “What is he talking about?” That night, I switched off the video and went to sleep. The next day my dad forced me to watch another video. After a few days, my perception changed, and I even started enjoying Sadhguru’s seminars. In one of his videos, he talked about meditation. I slowly began discovering many similar videos on YouTube. I also started practicing meditation with meditative music. This experience brought peace to my tangled soul.   

After a week, I told my therapist that I had been doing meditation with music. She responded that I should try to do it without music. I agreed, set a meditation plan, and began to follow it. In the initial days, it was really hard for me to focus and sit in meditation without having any thoughts. I became aware of my mind, the “Chatter Box.” I was able to see that my mind was full of thoughts, which were mostly repetitive and built upon unnecessary assumptions.  

Next, my therapist suggested that I could overcome this problem by setting an affirmation before the start of my meditation session. As I consciously inhaled and exhaled, I repeated, “I am not the body and I am not the mind.” 

There is a saying, “Practice makes everything perfect.” This is true. I can now sit for 30 minutes, fully focused and uninterrupted. The number of thoughts in my mind has decreased significantly.  

My emotions are now neutral. I no longer cry for petty things, and I no longer laugh at stupid things. I respect differences. Most importantly, I examine my thoughts carefully. 

Many people don't feel any change after meditation. They know their flaws, but they don't want to accept it. On the other hand, some people have tremendously changed their lives with the help of meditation. 

I wish to say one more thing at the end — “Meditation is a matter of belief.”